Failing Miserably, Part II

Okay so maybe I need to change the focus of this blog. Instead of it being all about how I'm changing my life, one small step at a time, maybe it should be about how I'm totally NOT doing this, despite good efforts. Hey, at least that's funnier right?

Don't get me wrong, I'm still on the quest to be a size 4, living in a house with solar panels paid for by my oh-so-witty and endearing blog, which is full of fantastic photographs (of which we have none right now due to my recently purchased camera being sent back. Oh and did I mention my son is thisclose to taking his first steps and my camera--and only means of video--is still en route to Connecticut. Yeah.)

Anyhow, yesterday was my day to go to CVS, and since I have to go a little bit out of my realm to get there, I decided to go grocery shopping at the Giant grocery store that was in the same plaza. And while I was there I was going to hit the Dollar Tree because it was conveniently located in between CVS and Giant. That was my first mistake. Read below for more...

Mistakes Made in the Interest of Trying to be A Frugal, Coupon-Clipping Mom

1. There was no reason for me to go to the Dollar Tree. There was nothing there I needed, and I was immediately overwhelmed by all the cheap cheap cheap merchandise and bright colors. I was also overwhelmed by how many people were like, hanging out there. Just standing in the aisles talking and not moving aside when it was clear that I needed to get by. And then I got accosted by the Strange-Man-Who-Won't-Stop-Talking-To-You. You know him. He's usually found at bars (and apparently Dollar Tree) and strikes up a boring, endless conversation about something he thinks he has in common with you. And while he blabs (in this case) on and on about his 20 month old granddaughter and the perils of being so tall (he was at least 8 feet) I smiled and nodded and prayed that he'd go away. He didn't, so I snatched 2 little books for G3 and a pack of sponges and got in line. Money spent: $3 and change.

2. But before Dollar Tree, I went into CVS with a purpose. I had a list--all for things that were either on sale at CVS and I had a coupon for, or free. As in, my "Free CVS-Brand Ibuprofen". Of course, I couldn't find it, and as I was checking my coupon again to make sure that's what it was for, I noticed it was expired anyhow. Great. I did manage to score some Puffs tissues for about 0.60 cents each, so I guess that was a success. I got 3 boxes of tissues, a pack of batteries, and two Gerber graduate products for $13.00. But I earned no extra bucks. And I practically needed a bicep replacement after carrying my 21# child around for 20 minutes. (Side note: teach kid to walk before next CVS trip! But not before camera is repaired and returned.)

3. Finally, to Giant. Since I usually shop at my rinky-dink IGA (it's close, friendly, and decently priced, even though the selection is a bit limited) I was immediately entranced by rows upon rows of gorgeous produce, meat and cheese selections fit for a king, and the biggest wall of bread I've ever seen. I was shocked, however, at how much more expensive this store was. I will confess now that I went in for:

Items to make bean salad for a party

Dinner for the evening

Milk

Bread

New Swiffer Sweeper (yes I know this lends serious doubts to my commitment to greenness, but I have a 4000 sqare foot house--yep, more doubts--and 2 animals and a child. I am currently unwilling to give up Swiffer.)

Tilex.

Do you know what I came out with? $86.00 worth of food!! Clementines--my favorite, but expensive--type of fruit. They only come in that big wooden box, so even if I eat 5 a day they usually go bad before I can finish. (Really, aren't you impressed by how little I waste?) Oh, and ribs, anyone? Hey, Money Saving Mom says you should cook to please your husband! Even though he cooks to please me, if he wants to make barbequed spare ribs for dinner, I'm hardly going to argue with him. After all, he's my husband.

I was also entranced with the bread selections...and amazed that most were around $3 a loaf. Is that how much bread is everywhere?? Unfortunately, while trying calculate how to get the best bang for my buck I was interrupted when Strange-Man-Who-Won't-Stop-Talking-To-You showed up, now with his very-much-a-teenager daughter and 20 month old granddaughter. He smiled like we were long-lost friends, having migrated together from the Dollar Tree to Giant, and launched into a spiel about how expensive bread was. Yep, I got it buddy. In my haste I probably grabbed the most expensive loaf and exhaustedly high-tailed it out of there.

So, I think I need to go read more blogs and learn more about frugality. I don't think that the living-on-$35-a-week will work in our household where G2 insists on cooking the same kind of food all the Food Network stars do. I mean, this is the man who scoffed at me last night when I asked what duck con fit was. Who also happens to be gluten-free. I don't think he's going to settle for Hamburger Helper and generic canned peas.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still on my quest, and I'm still going to work at the coupon thing and play the CVS game and try to take advantage of deals. But maybe I just need to make a general effort as opposed to a specific goal? Must marinate that thought while I cut up clementines and left over spare ribs for my son for breakfast.